Fateful Breaths
by nebula2
Summary: Both had feelings for the other but neither had the courage to voice them. What would it finally take for those feelings to be shared. Warning: Slash


AN: I need to give a huge thank-you to peanut meg for not only betaing this story but also being an honorary co-author as she not only helped me brainstorm but wrote bits of the story. This story would have stayed a random scene that I wrote while bored if it wasn't for her! Hope you enjoy!

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><p>SSA Derek Morgan kicked in the door of the room and kept his gun drawn, even as he noticed the room was empty, save for his teammates.<p>

Absently calling 'Clear,' to Rossi and Hotch who were right behind him, he quickly entered the room and headed toward his closest colleague.

Prentiss was alert and trying to communicate despite being bound and gagged. When Morgan approached her to undo her bindings she quickly shook her head and rather pointedly directed him toward Reid.

Reid, who was lying on his side, bound just like Prentiss, and eerily still. Reid, who hadn't even twitched when the door was busted in.

Rushing to Reid's side (leaving Rossi to help Prentiss) Morgan knelt down and felt for a pulse. His relief at finding one was short-lived; the younger agent wasn't breathing. Morgan quickly untied and removed the gag before rolling Reid onto his back. He then titled Reid's head back, pinched Reid's nose, and placed his mouth over Reid's, blowing air into his friend's lungs as Hotch knelt beside him.

Morgan thought about the times he had wanted to feel Reid's lips on his own, but it was never in this scenario. One breath. Two. Three. And there was still no response from Reid.

"I've still got a pulse," Hotch told him.

Morgan pressed his lips against Reid's again. ~_Come on, Kid, breathe_!~

"Paramedics are on the way," Rossi said out loud to the group from where he was helping Prentiss get to her feet.

In between the eighth and ninth breaths, Reid gave a bit of a gasp, finally drawing in a breath on his own. Morgan leant back, allowing his arms to drop to his sides, and let his head hang, relief sweeping through his body. Morgan wanted to reach down and gather Reid into his arms. Feel the beat of his heart as he held him close. It was a desire he had felt often since he had first met Reid. Something he had dreamt about. That desire, one he'd had since meeting Reid, only grew at times like these. Times when the kid seemed more vulnerable, more fragile.

Looking up, Morgan let his eyes rest on Reid's face. There was a bad bruise on his left temple and a cut near his hairline on that side, a small trail of blood running down the side of his head. His right cheek was bruised, puffy, and swollen. Involuntarily, Morgan remembered seeing Reid's image on a grainy computer screen, sporting these same injuries. This time though, there were additional bruises on his neck. Simultaneously, Morgan found himself wondering how many more bruises were hidden as he noticed Reid's eyes fluttering open.

Morgan's radio crackled to life. "We've got a fire in the basement. All units evacuate the house now," came the voice local police detective in charge of the case.

"Rossi, get Prentiss out of here," Hotch ordered even as he turned his attention to his other agent. "Reid, do you hear me?"

"Yeah. Emily?" Reid asked, his eyes focusing on Hotch.

"She's fine," Hotch assured him, even as he reached down to pull the younger agent into a sitting position.

Morgan quickly untied his hands, unveiling purpling rings as he did so. Hotch still had one hand on Reid, helping support the agent who was swaying despite being seated. Morgan then took over Hotch's position as the team leader moved to unite Reid's ankles.

"Can you stand, Kid?" Morgan asked him.

"Think so," Reid said, his voice sounding a little groggy.

Grabbing Reid under the arms, Morgan helped him to his feet. Reid swayed slightly, and Hotch reached out to help steady him.

"I'm fine," Reid told him. "Jus' a bit lightheaded."

Hotch and Morgan shared skeptical looks over Reid's bent head. With the addition of the blood and bruises, the kid's thin frame now just looked frail. Morgan lifted one of Reid's arms across his shoulders.

"You got him?" Hotch asked.

Morgan nodded as he started leading Reid toward the door. They had just stepped out into the hallway when he felt Reid's full weight on him.

"Kid?" Morgan asked, staggering a bit but managing to keep them both upright. Looking over, Morgan was relieved to find Reid still conscious. "You alright?"

A soft no was the only answer he got. Without hesitation, Morgan moved to get one hand behind Reid's knees and in moments had him in his arms. Though as tall as him, the skinny agent was easy enough for Morgan to carry. As he started down the steps with his teammate in his arms, Morgan felt Reid rest his head on his shoulder, the younger man's forehead resting against his neck.

"Love you Morg'n."

The words were soft; Morgan just barely catching them, and the agent was immensely glad Reid had his head down, so he couldn't see the surprise that he was sure covered his face. Although, it was wishful thinking for him to believe that Spencer Reid, who had earned a PhD three times over and was the youngest agent in the history of the BAU, was _in love _with Derek Morgan, the hot headed former member of the Chicago PD. Could he take anything his teammate said to heart? The kid had been bound, gagged, and hadn't been breathing when they had found him. Who knew what his state of mind was. Hell, Reid may not have even said anything at all; Morgan's stressed mind could have just been hearing what he wanted to hear.

Upon reaching the first floor he could see smoke starting to spread out from the source of the fire. Luckily, the front door was near the foot of the steps and Morgan rushed outside, Hotch close on his heels. Prentiss was already being tending to by a pair of paramedics while Rossi hovered nearby. Spotting another set of waiting paramedics, Morgan rushed toward them, depositing Reid gently onto the stretcher they had with them.

"He stopped breathing for a while," Morgan told them, as he took a couple of steps back, wanting to get out of the way but not wanting to go far.

A voice at his elbow caused him to momentarily look away from Reid.

"Is he going to be okay?"

Morgan glared at the young blonde trainee. "You'd better hope so. Your selfish ambition is responsible for this. If he doesn't make it . . . well let's just say not even Rossi can protect you from everything." Not wanting to see her any longer, Morgan quickly turned and followed the paramedics to the nearby ambulance.

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><p>Morgan sat at Reid's bedside, watching the rise and fall of the younger man's chest. That movement was a reassurance at least, unlike the worried looks the nurses and doctors failed to hide. Reid had been drifting in and out of consciousness for the past couple of hours, not staying awake more than five minutes at a time.<p>

Hotch, Rossi, and Prentiss had stopped in twenty minutes ago as they were leaving to take Prentiss back to the hotel, as the other agent had been evaluated and released. Morgan had been relieved not to see Seaver with them. The FBI trainee was the last person he wanted to see. He still didn't understand her joining the team, though respect for Hotch and Rossi -and knowing the were short-handed with JJ's departure- had kept him from voicing his opinion. She was a cadet with no unique skills that set her apart from her classmates; what right did she have tagging along with an elite team of profilers? What did it matter that she was the daughter of a serial killer? Yes, she had proved herself useful during that case; though she had almost managed to get herself killed. Now she was responsible for two agents being captured by their UnSub. And while Morgan was relieved Prentiss was going to be okay, he still wasn't sure Reid was out of danger. The 'we'll have to wait and see' answers the doctors were giving him were anything but reassuring.

Now, with only the sound of Reid's breathing breaking the silence of the room, and Reid still motionless save for the rise and fall of his chest, Morgan began to feel anxious. Almost of its own violation, Morgan's right hand found Reid's left, fingertips pressing against the wrist so he could feel the younger man's steady pulse. _~Really wish you would wake up, Kid. You know how I hate waiting.~ _And Morgan was waiting on two counts: for Reid to wake up, and for Rossi to show up wanting to "talk" about his confrontation with Seaver in the waiting room. As Reid still showed no signs of waking, exhaustion from the day's events began to catch up with Morgan, and the sounds of steps in the hallway blended with those he had heard hours before.

_Approaching footsteps had caused him to look up from the bland hospital tile, and Morgan barely suppressed a groan when he realized the steps belonged to._

"_Can we talk?" she asked tentatively._

"_There's nothing to talk about," he replied tersely._

_Seemingly ignoring his response, Seaver sat down next to him. "Morgan, I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I thought I was helping. I didn't want the UnSub to get away."_

"_Prentiss told you to stay in the vehicle didn't she?" Morgan said, recalling the account that Seaver had already given Hotch and Rossi upon informing them that Prentiss and Reid had been taken from the house belonging to a former lover of the UnSub._

_Seaver nodded._

"_And instead of following that order you go running after a potential UnSub alone."_

"_Prentiss and Reid were inside talking to the home owner, and I saw who turned out to be our UnSub sneaking out a side window. I didn't want to let him get away! And I did radio the situation in."_

"_Yeah, you did. And also went after the guy alone and managed to get yourself taken hostage! Prentiss and Reid put themselves in danger to keep you safe. They let the UnSub and his accomplice get the upper hand on them to keep you alive. Don't you get it? That wouldn't have happened if you had just followed orders. The bureau has policies and procedures in place for a reason, and right now I don't care that you might not have them all memorized. Hell, Seaver, you should be doing what seasoned agents tell you to do even more, since you're still a rookie. You should not be going off and doing what you want. Did you really think you knew better than Prentiss and Reid? This job is dangerous enough without some over achieving trainee breaking procedure in the hope of earning extra credit!"_

_The blonde trainee hadn't said anything else, staring at Morgan in apparent shock. He'd had quite a bit more he wanted to say to Seaver, and had just taken a breath to do so when a nurse in the doorway of the waiting room called his name. Leaving Seaver sitting where she was, Morgan headed in the nurse's direction. On the way, he had passed Rossi watching him from over the top of coffee cup. Morgan briefly wondered how much the senior profiler had overheard_ _before casting the thought aside and focusing his attention on the nurse who had summoned him._

A groan brought Morgan out of reliving the memory. Looking at Reid, he saw that the younger man was waking up. Reid started reaching up with his right hand toward the nasal cannula delivering oxygen. With his free hand, Morgan grasped the reaching hand, holding it back.

"Leave that alone, Kid, until a doctor says it's okay to remove it," Morgan told him.

"My head hurts," Reid said, his eyes still only half-way open, even as he lowered his right hand to his side.

"Given the bruises and concussion you have that doesn't surprise me," Morgan told him, as he reached for the call button so he could let the medical personnel know that Reid was awake.

Reid let his head fall to the side, his cheek resting against the pillow. Like the other times he had been awake he wasn't being very vocal, but at least Reid kept his eyes open. Morgan felt the hand he was holding moving to grasp his own, and he applied slight pressure to it.

"Morgan, is Emily okay?"

"She's fine. Resting at the hotel and looking a whole lot better than you do right now."

"Good. I tried to protect her."

"You did, Reid," Morgan assured him, recalling what Prentiss had told them about the UnSub wanting information about the investigation, directing the questions toward Prentiss until Reid had started drawing his attention away from the female agent. After becoming frustrated with Reid's responses, the UnSub had drug Reid from the room. According to Prentiss, when the UnSub with Reid sometime later, the young agent had sported the more serious of his injuries, and Reid had seemed out of it.

Before Morgan could comment further though, both a doctor and a nurse entered the room. Morgan remained where he was as the doctor approached the other side of the bed and began his evaluation of Reid. The nurse pushed the button to cancel the call, and then hovered near the foot of the bed. After checking Reid's eyes, listening to his lungs, having the federal agent both grasp and push the doctor's hands, and checking both blood pressure and pulse-ox he began asking Reid general knowledge questions. When the doctor's questions got to more recent events, Reid was either unable to provide and answer or had only a vague recollection of the events. Though he remained quiet, Morgan got the feeling that Reid recalled more than he was revealing to the physician.

"I want hourly neuro-checks throughout the night," the doctor said, looking toward the nurse who now had the chart in her hands. "Keep the oxygen on for the next three hours and then see how he does without it. If the pulse-ox drops below ninety-four without it, put it back on."

"Yes, doctor," the nurse replied.

"When can I leave?" Reid asked quietly.

The doctor allowed himself a small smile. "We'll see how things go throughout the night and then we'll discuss that," he told him. "Things are looking good right now, but head injuries run a risk of deteriorating quickly."

"What about the memory issues?" Morgan asked.

"Not being able to remember the events leading up to and shortly after suffering a head injury is not uncommon in patients. The memories may or may not come back, but as long as the memory loss remains isolated to those events, there isn't anything to worry about," the doctor told them. "I'm on duty until seven a.m., and I'll check in periodically during my shift," he assured them before leaving.

The nurse returned the chart to the rack at the foot of the bed and then left the room. Morgan watched them until they disappeared and the turning back to Reid caught the younger man reaching up again to remove the cannula.

"Hey, you heard the doctor. You need to leave that on for now," Morgan said, grasping Reid's wrist and gently pulling it away.

"I hate these things."

"Tough. I don't want to have to do mouth-to-mouth on you again," Morgan told him, relieved that Reid was still awake, even though the younger man looked exhausted.

The two friends sat in a comfortable silence for a while, Reid seeming to struggle to keep his eyes open as the minutes ticked by. Thinking that rest would be the best thing for his friend, Morgan remained silent, watching Reid closely.

"You don't have to stay here you know," Reid finally said, breaking the silence.

"I'm not going anywhere, Kid. You really scared me this time."

"Did you really have to do mouth-to-mouth?"

"Yes. You weren't breathing when we found you and Prentiss."

"Sorry," Reid said apologetically. "Though the lack of oxygen is probably contributing to the lack of memory."

"What do you remember, Kid? And I'm not your doctor, so no editing the messier details."

"I knew I had to keep the UnSub from hurting Prentiss. I'm not really sure what I said to him, though I remember thinking I'd have to make him mad to get him to focus on me. It worked and he took me from the room. After that," Reid paused, seemingly searching his memory, "well like I told the doctor, I remember the first couple of times the guy hit me and then things start getting hazy. I think I remember Prentiss saying my name. I tried to tell her I was okay, but I don't think I managed to. And then you were there but that part seems almost like a dream," Reid paused again, and a slight blush rose in his cheeks, "I didn't, um, I didn't say anything stupid did I? I know that lack of oxygen can affect multiple parts of the brain and-"

"Whoa Kid, calm down," Morgan leaned forward in his chair to ensure he had Reid's attention, "I don't think you've _ever _said anything stupid."

Reid smiled, "Okay. So, um, what _did_ I say?"

Now it was Morgan's turn to become uncomfortable and leaned back slightly. "You know, not all of us have photographic memories, Kid. I don't remember everything you say."

"It's eidetic, and you're avoiding the question. What did I say? If it was something horrible, I'm sorry and I _was _suffering from oxygen deprivation and –"

Morgan held up a hand, "Reid, I get it. Just, after I tell you, remember all of what you just said, okay?"

Reid began twisting the scratchy hospital blanket between his hands, "Oh God, Morgan. What did I _say_?"

"Well, Kid. You said – " Morgan paused and took a breath, trying to summon the courage to continue. "You said you loved me." When Reid remained silent Morgan continued, "although, I'm sure you meant like family." Morgan paused when Reid's previous pale face flushed bright red.

"I'm so sorry, Morgan," Reid said, wishing that he could escape the room. "I know . . ." Reid let his words trail off not able to finish. Of course Morgan wasn't gay. Morgan would never feel that way about him. "Can we just forget that happened?" he questioned, his voice pleading as he closed his eyes.

Still watching his friend closely, Morgan had a feeling that the words hadn't been a mistake and he didn't believe Reid had meant that he loved him as family. Deep down, Morgan wanted those words to have meant more. He also knew that if they swept this under the rug now, he would never have another chance to tell Reid exactly how he felt about them.

"Sure, we could do that, Kid," Morgan said slowly, his eyes watching Reid closely. He didn't want to miss any type of reaction to his next words. "But I'm not sure I want to, since I've been waiting for years to hear you say them to me."

"Please, Morgan don't joke about this," Reid pleaded, still keeping his eyes shut, the blush deepening rather than disappearing.

Certain now that Reid did have feelings for him, Morgan got to his feet. "Believe me Kid, I'm not joking," he said softly reaching down to grasp Reid's hand and interlace his fingers with his own. Leaning down, he placed a feather-light kiss on Reid's forehead.

Reid's eyes flew open at the gesture, only to find himself looking directly into Morgan's dark eyes. The young genius saw no trace of amusement in those eyes. Reid looked down, unable to hold Morgan's gaze.

"Oh God, I'm hallucinating. Or in a coma because I wasn't breathing and it resulted in brain damage. What am I-"

"Pretty Boy, trust me, you're not hallucinating." Morgan applied more pressure on the hand that was entwined with his while his other hand reached out and lifted Reid's head so he could catch his gaze. "You're awake and a little banged up, but okay - thank God - and I'm hoping to give this, "Morgan tightened his grip on Reid's hand, "a try. Because I've got to tell you, Reid, I'm done with almost having a heart attack when you're hurt, and not being able to show it."

"What? Why would you. . . I mean you could have any girl - and a fair amount of guys- with nothing more than a smile and an introduction! And I - I have a lack of social skills and wear mismatched socks. And it's not like I'm attractive - I'm a twig! Not to mention that my mother's a paranoid schizophrenic, and there's a chance I could develop the same disease. Besides, I've never been in a real relationship with anyone. Elle had to give me dating advice - actually so did you! And I ramble . . . "

"I love hearing you ramble," Morgan told him softly, a smile coming to his lips.

"Morgan, we're co-workers. Even if we - look, can you imagine what would happen if we starting this, this thing between us and then, when it didn't work out we had to go into work and pretend everything's okay?"

"Won't happen, Kid, because believe me once I catch you, I don't plan on letting you go."

Reid swallowed hard, unable to voice the multiple thoughts currently racing through his head. He wanted to look away again, but didn't want to lose the feel of Morgan's finger tips on his chin. Reid settled for closing his eyes.

Resisting the urge to press his lips against Reid's, Morgan settled for pressing another kiss to the younger man's forehead. He could tell the whole idea frightened the younger man and deep down, Morgan had to admit it scared him too.

One night stands were one easy. As long as both participant's knew it wasn't going any further than a night of mutual pleasure, no one got hurt.

However, this wasn't a one night stand. It could _never be _a one night stand. Reid wasn't that type of person and Morgan loved that about him. He knew he wouldn't mind trusting his heart to the man before him because he knew Reid would never do anything to intentionally hurt him or anyone else. That if he put his trust in Reid, the younger man would do the same thing. It was one of the things that amazed him about the young genius - that despite everything he had been through, despite being hurt by people who should have cared for him - Reid could still trust.

"You'll leave. Even if you don't plan to now, you'll eventually leave. Everyone does."

"Hey!" Morgan once again tightened his grip on Reid's hand. "I couldn't leave even if I wanted to, Reid. I know how much you've been hurt by people leaving you - your father, Elle, Gideon, even your mother, though it wasn't her choice. You've been left too many times, Kid, but I swear - I swear to you that I won't be one of them. I can't stand the thought of you being left again. Yes, Garcia may be my solace - the one who reminds me that there are puppies, and rainbows, and smiles - but you're my anchor, Kid. You're the one who reminds me that there's a benefit to getting the UnSub off the street and that justice has a purpose. The one who reminds me that regardless of what trials life throws at someone, there's always a path leading away from the abyss. You keep me grounded, Kid."

Reid opened his eyes. Along with the pain from the physical injuries that dulled them, Morgan saw a sadness in them. A sadness that made his breath catch, afraid at what Reid would say next.

"Morgan I can't promise you the same thing." Reid's voice dropped almost to a whisper. "Even though I want to." Reid cleared his throat and then spoke again. "The reality of the situation is that I could turn out like my mother."

"Then we'll deal with it," Morgan told him.

"My father couldn't."

"I'm not your father and I'm not Gideon. I've seen what the two of them leaving did to you. I won't ever be the cause of that, Reid."

Reid turned his head, pulling away from Morgan's touch and avoiding his gaze. He didn't pull his hand away, though, and that gave Morgan some hope.

"What's going through that head of yours right now, Kid?" Morgan asked softly, resting the hand that wasn't grasping Reid's down on top of the side rail.

"This won't be fair to you," Reid replied quietly. "I can't ask you to . . . "

"You're not _asking_ me to do anything, Reid!"

"I'm tired," Reid said, closing his eyes. He couldn't deal with this right now. It all seemed to be happening too fast and everything just _hurt._

"Okay," Morgan replied softly. "Get some rest then. I'll be right here, Pretty Boy," he said softly, reaching out to run his fingers through Reid's hair. "I'll show you I won't leave."

As Reid's breathing began to slow and even out, Morgan readjusted the chair with one hand. He sat down, fingers still intertwined with Reid's. He would have to be patient and take things slow - something that had never been a strong suit for him. However, as he looked down at the precious person lying before him he knew he could do it, he _would_ do it, to protect the man he loved. Bringing their joined hands up to his lips, Morgan pressed a kiss against the back of Reid's hand, and then leaned his cheek against it.

Being so focused on Reid, Morgan didn't realize he had an audience. Agent David Rossi had watched the gentle movement of Morgan's hand through Reid's hair and the gentle kiss to the back of his hand from the shadow of the doorway. Had watched in silence as Morgan held that hand against his cheek and allowed a small smile to grace his lips. Rossi had the explanation he had come seeking. He understood why Morgan's words to Seaver had been so harsh, so uncharacteristically hurtful, and while he didn't plan on letting it go unaddressed, they didn't need to be discussed tonight.

Not wanting to give himself away, David Rossi stepped quietly out of the doorway and headed for the elevator leaving Morgan to keep his vigil in peace.


End file.
